Caley Ridge Assisted Living-Elder Abuse-Our Nightmare - The Transition

“Mary, we didn’t get the rehab place after all even though they have a place for mother,” cried my sister.

“What happened?” I asked.

“The social worker at Sky Ridge told them I was difficult to deal with and that they would be better off refusing her a bed,” my sister said through sobs.  She had done so much and fought so hard.

“They are releasing her to a nursing home.  I haven’t told mom yet.  That is the last thing she wanted,” she said.  “I just wanted to give her excellent care.”

Many, many times my mother begged the 3 of us to please not send her to a nursing home.  She was terrified she would die there.  We all knew that and yet felt powerless to do anything about it.   My brother and I lived in other states.  My sister recently had gone through her own surgery could not physically care for her.

My sister advocated endlessly for my mother.  She did an amazing job.  The professionals at the hospital resented her advocacy.  They thought she was “bitchy”.  If she were (and she wasn’t), it was out of love for our mother.  She advocated for her with doctors, hospitals, agencies, and Caley Ridge.  It seems that when you are dying and you are old, people just don’t want to respond. 

Mother began experiencing pain her neck and head and stated that the night aide beat her around her head and she hurt.  The nursing home, of course, denied the allegations.  If you look at their web site you will see this is a common occurrence at this nursing home.  Usually the allegations are not substantiated because the patient was “confused.”

This same nursing home would crush her sustained release medication for her epilepsy.   My sister once again advocated for mother.  The response, which I find, deplorable, was for the doctor to pull her inside mother’s room and tell her that she is being a “bitch” to the nurses and to back off.   She was horrified and exhausted.  She had done so much as she is the one who lived in Colorado near mother.

At that point my sister began the process of moving mother to her home.  She began making arrangements for beds, assistance, etc.  It seemed to be the answer for mother.

 

On Thursday, February 22, 2007, 37 days after her accident I received a call from my sister.  “Mother just died.” 

 

I gulped as she said the words and kept driving.  “Was it peaceful, I asked?” 

“Yes.  She was very tired of fighting and she just died,” my sister cried.

My mother died as a result of injuries sustained by gross neglect of a van driver and the decisions of management at Caley Ridge Assisted Living. 

Mother transitioned.  As is often the case for those transitioning through tragic circumstances, it wasn’t the end for us.  

 

If you have witnessed elder abuse or had a family member suffer through it, please comment.  Your comments may really help other people.  It is through sharing that we can make a difference.