We are spiritual beings having a human experience. Therefore our experiences in life are human. For many the limitation is to see the human experience as the end all of the journey. The truth is that the physical experience provides us the lessons for spiritual growth to fulfill our life mission. I know I tend to get bogged down in the physical experience rather than focusing on the spiritual experience. That is part of being human. For me, there was so much damage done to be through the sexual abuse, physical abuse and emotional abuse that I experience the world physically. I define love by sex, by being the “counselor”, by being the parent, etc. Love is far greater than the definition of the earthly experience and I am working through that to learn to give and receive a deep love an agape love. The first step in agape love is with myself.
Agape love is a deep spiritual love that expresses the divine. It is pure, unconditional and free. I struggle with loving myself and how love exists in any relationship without the comfort of definition. This is an excerpt of my conversation with God.
God: You can learn about love without having sex, without being the “counselor”, without being the parent. You learn about love that is for your heart free and clear. You don’t have to put out anything. That is new for you.
Me: It is and the feeling is this imbalance and the other person has all this power in their hands to hurt me.
God: They also have the power in their hands to love you and nurture you and care about you. You automatically think they will use the vulnerability to hurt you.
Me: The realty is I don’t know how I would know that I am loved by someone else if there were no sex, or I wasn’t the “counselor” or the parent. I don’t know. Those are tangible and measureable. They are roles and define the love and the relationships. Loving someone is doing for them. It is sex, helping, counseling, giving gifts, etc. For me loving someone is being present for them, available to them, helpful to them, and so on. I don’t know what it is like to be loved simply because I am loveable. I don’t get that.
God: You are fearful of that. It is so outside your paradigm to be loved and accepted regardless of what you say, what you want, how you act, how you feel. It is the antithesis of your earthly experience. You so much want to define love in the physical dimension.
Me: Oh but we live in the physical dimension. So it has to define me.
God: It doesn’t. The physical dies and you continue evolving. So the deeper spiritual relationship is far more meaningful.
Me: But it is not measureable or definable.
God: Have faith and trust as the journey evolves that what lessons you need come forward just as this is happening for you now. The belief that love is measured and defined by physical constraints keeps you imprisoned to the physical dimension and never allow for the experience of a deep spiritual love. Agape love is the greatest of all love. It is pure spiritual and rises above the physical. You’ve experienced Agape love for others. It is time to live in Agape love. Your heart is the only dimension for the experience of love outgoing and incoming. It isn’t the body. Love is often times expressed in the physical because that is what people know and trust because like for you it is tangible and measurable. Agape love is pure, unconditional love of the heart that is powerful. You’ve seen the tendrils of the universe – divine light pass through my heart energetically to all people. Agape love is for all people regardless of their physical experience. The energy of the divine passes through your heart reaching others. Limiting it to a physical experience and defining it is part of what creates dis-ease, hatred for the different beliefs and religions. People are comfortable with that paradigm. It makes logical sense to their minds, their head and yet if they look at it closely it is incongruent with the heart. The heart is love and acceptance and kindness and beauty. The head, the ego wants to define love. Agape love s a spiritual love free of earthly containment. Find your peace and center in agape love and everything will evolve as it needs to evolve. Find your freedom in agape love. Rise above the physical. Be agape love.
Me: I hear you God. First I must learn to love me with agape love and out of that flows agape love for all.
God: Yes. You want to define it so you can understand it and control it and feel safe with it. Open and allow it to be. Release the control and allow it to be. Open your heart and core to love.
It is far easier for me to give love than to receive love. When I am in a place of receiving, I have a tendency to want to define it and control it because I had a belief that would keep me safe because I was looking at love in the physical dimension. There is a place for physical love and I am not in that place right now. I am learning about agape love – that which endures forever. That which embraces all as one and is our great mission on earth. I am loving myself unconditionally now with a few glitches. My intention is to love me. When I can do that fully and freely and naturally, I am free to love the same with others without expectation or control. In that, I am an open vessel for divine light and love to flow through me. The blockages are removed and I grow.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. For some I would guess it feels different to you to read about this personal experience. I am expressing myself because I am free and expression is healing and empowering and ensures I stay out of the prison of victimization. I want to be a vessel of love and peace and light. I welcome your comments.