I read this article this morning and my heart is filled with sadness and compassion for all. I make no judgment on this. I want to share as this story is very much like an event that happened to me on Valentine’s Day as a teenager.
I grew up in my home being physically, emotionally and sexually abused beginning as a very small child. My birth was not welcomed and if abortion had been legal, I would have been aborted as my mother would share with me in my life. That isn’t the point of this blog – it is just a brief background.
I spent days preceding Valentine’s day creating homemade cards for my family. I wanted to share my love for them. Yes, even with all the abuse I loved my family. I was so very excited to give it to them and perhaps subconsciously I wanted love back. At dinnertime I excitedly handed out the cards to them. I remember the anticipation I felt as they opened them. My mother threw hers across the table. My father was silent, and my siblings followed suit. I was disappointed and hurt. It wasn’t a surprise to me.
I had a friend come over and we were playing pool in the rec room. I came in the house and asked a question in which the response was no. I made a sarcastic, teenage reply and went back out in the rec room. My father throws open the door, takes the pool stick out of my hands and beats me in the head and slapping my face and jammed me against the wall and started choking me. My friend watched in horror. I saved my life that night by kicking him in the groin and I ran and he screamed she is crazy and I ran for miles barefoot to my best friend’s house. I was bruised and hurt. He was a detective and his boss was the chief of police and my father was mayor of the city we lived in was his boss. My father told him I attacked him. I was 100 pounds if that and he was 200+ pounds. Nothing was done. I did, however, get to live in a foster home determined by my father (never went through Social Services).
It was a devastating experience and a culmination of a lifetime of abuse. He was protected and I was not protected. This young girl in this news story will never forget that day. I am near 60 years old and every Valentine’s Day I remember all of it. It no longer devastates me but the memory is always there. I want people to know two things: First, if you have been a victim of abuse, you can heal if you choose to heal. It is never too late and it is a painful process and worth it. I am still healing. Second, if you are an abuser or have been an abuser – STOP. Your victim has suffered enough. Get help, regardless of the consequences, so you can live your life fully. You, too, live imprisoned by your choices.
Please feel free to share your comments and/or your stories.